Email Spotting

Where’s the relationship at?

Are you about to break up off or has it happened already? If you’re
about to, do it now. Don’t wait one more day to ease their pain or
yours. It’s not fair to you or the other person. If the relationship
has already ended, accept it and move on! Learning from your
experience.

Can you still be friends?

It’s the worst line ever! But seriously – can you be friends after a
break-up? Well – it depends. If the bond is deep it’s unlikely – it
may be too painful. The examples we find of people remaining friends
are those who split for some time – often married couples, and
relationships that involved no sex. If it’s someone you trust not to
manipulate your feelings then it may be possible.

You’ll need a cool-off period. This avoids things being said that may
be regretted or inhibit future friendship. When you make contact use
light conversation. Avoid confrontational talk or accusations such
as "why did you break up with me?" In time, you might ask them to
join you in a group but make sure it can’t be construed as a date.

Mend your broken heart!
There isn’t a sure-fire way to mend a broken heart but there’s
definitely things you can to do to make it feel lighter and ready for
new love. First, allow yourself to feel what you need to and take all
the time in the world to get over the person. For some people it may
only take a few weeks to move on and others years. The ideas below
are not meant to cover up your loss but rather to help your healing
process so you can move on and enjoy being single for a while!

Time to grieve

Remember, you just lost a loved one so grieving is the best thing you
can do. Afterwards move on! There are ways to do this successfully!
Things you might want to do include:

. Throw away and objects that remind you of your past love.
. meet new people.
. Take a vacation or day trip with friends.
. Talk about your break up and feelings.
. Enjoy your new singleness – do something you wouldn’t normally do!
. Exercise. Take time to look good!
. Learn something new.
. Take yourself on a date, watch a film or eat your favourite food.
. Do things you said you always wanted to do when you were with your
  partner but never did.
. Get a new look.

The rebound

Remember to resist finding a new love straight away. Rebound
relationships ease the pain but are doomed from the beginning! You
don’t have the "get to know each other" bit. If you do find someone
of romantic interest take it slow – you’ll be glad you did!

Getting back with your past love!!!
If something was strong enough to end the relationship the first
time, it’s safe to say the same issue will come up again. Be aware of
this.

Confide in the right people!

Don’t confide in the opposite sex at this vulnerable time. Men and
women can rarely do this without at least one ending up with romantic
feelings.

Avoid the question -" what’s wrong with me".

You’ll probably get what sounds like a load of excuses that leave you
feeling insecure – like you’ve got a problem. The simple fact is that
people subconsciously search for personalities that are on their
wavelength and sometimes it takes a while for people to realise that
their personalities don’t fit! If you can figure out incompatibility
early on then it’s a lot of heartache saved. But by the same token
don’t judge a book by it’s cover – some people take time to show
their true colours, and not because they’re insecure, there may be a
whole load of reasons why they hold back. Take the time to get to
know someone or you’ll miss opportunities. I’ve lost count of the
number of times that I’ve totally misjudged someone’s character by
taking their first words as how they are. True – what’s in the heart
comes out of the mouth but not always straight away!

To love

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart
will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure
of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Not even an
animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid all
entanglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness. But
in the casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It
will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable".   C.S Lewis The
Four Loves

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail  from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person’s special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person.

By Lionel Ketchian

Happy Valentine’s Day to you! I am able to send you love as a result of the life
changing decision that I have made. It is Being Happy that allows me to connect
with love in the first place. What is love? It is a word that has so many meanings
that it has lost its real meaning. It means feeling a certain way. Let me ask you a
question. If I don’t feel good about me, then how do I feel good about you? If I
don’t feel good about me, then I need you to feel good about me, so I can feel
good, right?

We go out and look for someone to love, desperately. Even if someone would,
or could love us in that state we would soon be unhappy. This is because we are
unhappy and we are looking for someone to make us happy. Even if the other
person you loved were happy it would not be enough to make you both happy.

When you first fall in love, the other person seems so perfect. You don’t see any
faults, you see only beauty and you’re in touch with only wonderful feelings for
them. It may take days, months, or years, but you begin to wonder what
happened to this person you fell in love with. Did you really know them in the
first place? Why have they changed so much? Maybe it’s you? Maybe you
changed your expectations of them. Maybe, you fell out of happiness!

If you don’t feel happy, you cannot love. Where does love come from? I’ll tell
you where! Love comes from your happiness. A happy heart is a loving heart!
Happiness is where love comes from. When you are happy, love is there. Think
about it for a minute. We talk about finding the love of our lives and living
happily ever after. Did you ever know anyone that wanted to get married so they
could live unhappily ever after? I don’t think so. Although everyone gets
married because they fell in love and became happy, many eventually become
unhappy nevertheless.

You cannot feel love toward another unless you are happy. Happiness is the
foundation for love. I know you want to be loved, everyone wants to be loved.
Sometimes you need to be loved because you do not love yourself. The reason
is you are just not happy. The way it seems to happen is we are unhappy, so we
need someone in our life to fill the void.

How many times have you heard that you need to learn to love yourself? But
doesn’t loving yourself seem self-centered? The answer is no! When you love
yourself you are gentle on yourself, and you can more easily be that way with
others. It’s when you are self-centered, rather than self-loving that the problems
start. Self-centered people want to talk about themselves all the time. They don’t
really care about others. You might hear someone say: "Oh, here I am talking
about nothing but myself, for the last twenty minutes, enough of that. OK, it’s
your turn to talk about me." This is a joke of course, but there is some truth to
it.

Self-centered people want everyone else to tell him or her how great they are.
They want other people to love them, but they can’t love back. Why? The reason
is; they are just not happy. A person who is self-centered is not Being Happy
and must constantly look for happiness. Self-centered people have little love for
themselves so they have only a tiny bit to give others.

A self-loving person is happy and wants to share their happiness and love with
other people. Self-loving people love themselves, so they are in touch with love
within themselves. That is where they get the love they have to give others.
When you love yourself, you are connected to yourself. You know yourself,
and you have plenty of healthy self-esteem. You love others as much as you
love yourself.

Remember no one is perfect by our standards. People are doing the best they
can. It may not be the best you can do, but given their life experience, fears,
hopes, and thinking, it is the best they can do at this time. Don’t be too hasty to
judge others; practice more forgiveness especially for your own sake, and for
the sake of the ones you love.

What is happiness? It is unconditional acceptance of life, the good, the bad, and
the ugly. Once you can understand unconditional happiness you can begin to
love, and be loved. Part of what I am talking about is accepting yourself for all
your parts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once you do that you realize you are
good enough. In fact you’re perfect! When you feel good about yourself it is
then that you can improve yourself. In fact Being Happy is the best
self-improvement exercise that I know of.

We need to learn the art of being Happy. If you can begin living your life with
happiness, love would find you so fast, you would not believe what happened.
Once you are happy you will go out and attract, or be attracted to someone who
is sincerely happy. Instead of being unhappy and finding someone to fill the
void, being happy allows you to find someone to share your joy. WOW! What a
winning combination that is. Two people who are happy could really find and
share love, and it would be the real thing. Love can only grow in the happiness
within you.

It is so important to be happy, and express our love. We must learn to detach
our sense of worth from outside things and place it within ourselves for a real
sense of worth. After all, how can you give love unless you have love to give?
How can you give happiness, unless you have happiness? How can you give
anything, unless you own it? When you have happiness within you, you can
reach within and give love to another.

If you want to live happily ever after, then be happy now. This is the way to real
love. People stop loving because they decide something else is more important
than their happiness. If you want to love forever than don’t give up your
happiness. Allow Being Happy to show you the way to deal with obstacles and
the problems that get in your way.

Love flourishes in happiness, and multiplies and overflows in a rich and happy
heart! A happy heart is a loving heart! Be Happy, and you will be more loving.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Carol’s husband was killed in an accident last year. Jim, only
52, was driving home from work. The other driver was a teener with a
very high blood-alcohol level. Jim died instantly. The teenager was
in the emergency room for less than two hours.

There were other ironic twists: It was Carol’s fiftieth
birthday, and Jim had two plane tickets to Hawaii in his pocket. He
was going to surprise her. Instead, he was killed by a drunk driver.

"How have you survived this?" I finally asked Carol a year later.

Her eyes welled up with tears. I thought I had said the wrong
thing, but she gently took my hand and said, "It’s all right, I want
to tell you. The day I married Jim, I promised I would never let him
leave the house in the morning without telling him I loved him. He
made the same promise. It got to be a joke between us, and as babies
came along it got to be a hard promise to keep. I remember running
down the driveway, saying ‘I love you’ through teeth clenched when I
was mad, or driving to the office to put a note in his car. It was a
funny challenge.

"We made a lot of memories trying to say ‘I love you’ before
noon every day of our married life.

"The morning Jim died, he left a birthday card in the kitchen
and slipped out to the car. I heard the engine starting. Oh no, you
don’t buster, I thought. I raced out and banged on the car window
until he rolled it down. ‘Here on my fiftieth birthday, Mr. James E.
Garret, I, Carol Garret, want to go on record as saying I love you!’

"That’s how I survived. Knowing that the last words I said to
Jim were, ‘I LOVE YOU!’"

————————————————–
SAY IT NOW

If you have a tender message
Or a loving word to say,
Don’t wait till you forget it,
But whisper it today!

The tender words unspoken,
The letter never sent,
The long forgotten messages,
The wealth of love unspent.

For these some hearts are breaking,
For these some loved ones wait,
Then give them what they are needing,
Before it is too late!
————————————————————

Do you remember the first love letter you ever received? No other keepsakes are nearly as romantic. Read this excerpt from Barrie Dolnick’s How to Write a Love Letter on why this is one lost art that should make a comeback. Then spice up your love life by writing your own!

No one can resist a love letter. Not a cool teenager, not a grumpy old
geezer — not the most logical, tough-minded, callous-hearted individual around. There is not one heart on this planet that won’t melt under the influence of a love letter. When someone takes the time to tell you how much you mean and takes the time to write it down — well, let’s just agree it’s very touching.

A love letter is an amazing thing: a letter written to you by someone you care about, with words that reveal deliberate thought, passion, and intention. Receiving a love letter and the thrill of reading it can spark one of those moments in your life that lingers forever in your memory, a warm secret.

We wanted to write this book to help more people create those remarkable touchstones and to convey messages that somehow feel more real and more powerful on paper, and even on your E-mail. We know it’s hard to do. We know it’s hard to get it right. We know that somehow, we all want to be great writers, capable of poignant, powerful words. But we’re not all that gifted.

Here’s our secret: you don’t have to be that talented to write the best love letter you’d ever imagine. All you need is the object of your affection — a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, spouse — or just an eye for the one you want (love letters can be great forms of flirtation).

Why Bother?

Sure, love letters seem a little old-fashioned, but at the same time, they are so totally modern. Novels, plays, and poetry have been written solely around love letters. We all want to get one. We all want to have someone express his or her love for us so beautifully with words that we will hold onto those words, savor them, recall the feeling they evoke — maybe even carry them to our final days.

It’s true.

Tender words; passionate murmurs; soft, delicate sentiments might seem out of your orbit. What about flirtations, apologies, or "I want to talk to you" messages? They can and should be love letters, too.

So few of us make use of our ability to write our feelings down. We’re afraid that those words will mock us one day or that our offering will not be returned or, worse, will be scorned.

Writing a love letter can seem terribly daunting: What if you feel as if you can’t live up to what you write? What if you can’t write as well as you can talk, or touch? Who has time to write a love letter, anyway? That’s all a lot of baloney, but I’ve heard every one of those excuses from the fearful, timid, and lazy people who don’t want to make the effort.

There may be nothing more important and honorable in your life than expressing your love (or like) for someone else. So don’t pass up an opportunity to write a love letter.

1. No one expects you to be perfect (except maybe your parents).
2. Contracts can be oral, too — and there’s no legal action if your feelings change.
3. Anyone who has the bad taste to display your intimate messages in public comes off worse than you do.
4. It’s not that hard to write a love letter and you’re going to learn a lot more about it here.